...This Isn't Just The Story Of A Girl...
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
everything I do, I pretty much do for myself...I'm extremely irritable today. I didn't sleep much last night again and I'm not looking forwards to the show today at all. I'm kind of in a "hide under the covers and tell the world to fuck off" mood.
Also, I was told I try to hard and I need to relax. I know I need to relax, but the trying to hard thing was a slap in the face because, really I wasn't trying to impress anyone, everything I do, I pretty much do for myself. I'm still unsure how I wasn't supposed to take offence to that, because I did.
fuck, I have to get ready for school...
<3Ina
I don`t really know how I feel right now. I don`t even want to blog about it. I think I`m happy, but I may have screwed up. When you`ve lost as much sleep as I have...it`s very easy to do.
Social Pariah has struck again....i`m like a super hero...that fucks up alot.
<3Ina
Thursday, March 26, 2009
it should make for a more than stellar script...Another glorious afternoon in suite 95! I'm actually doing work, or I will be...working on the group script for communications.I can relate to the characters in it...hopefully it's not a bad thing. I'm kind of excited to get started...we're four completely different people so it should make for a more than stellar script, I just hope the diffent perspectives don't clash too much.
It's less distracting here than it is at home, so I can actually get work done. Plus, I have my ipod...with it's lame white headphones...because my skull candies broke on me. Also, I don't wanna go home, it's gross out and it's making people act weird.
In other news, I'm talking french to Shaunriqué on msn right now...weird and Random I know.
And now I leave you with this piece of logic from my past:
"If you're not lost, you don't wanna be found..."
<3Ina
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
If a guy can't handle you mid break-down...So, last night I got a message from my friend...Eternity, about how her and her boyfriend had just broken up...she was upset, obviously, but it was a long distance relationship, so they've never really met face to face..unless you count skype, so to me it was like "you're sad about what exactly?"...I don't understand LDR's and I'll never ever ever have one...how can you fall in love with words on a screen, or a guy on a web cam who you know nothing about? You don't learn about them because you don't see them every day...that's the eHarmony generation for you, I guess.
Anyways, I click on her myspace because in my stalker/live feed it says "Eternity updated her 'about me'"...being human and having a curious nature, I clicked on it, and the first thing I saw was a quote by Marylin Monroe, that I'd never seen before, and I really wish I had...
"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm very out of control at times, and at times hard to handle. But, if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
-Marilyn Monroe
She was a smart woman, and she's right. If a guy can't handle you mid break-down, he doesn't deserve you on your good days.
That's going in my "if I knew then what I know now" pile.
<3Ina
Monday, March 23, 2009
It's time for an upgrade...Dear Ina 5.6,
I'm writing this letter to notify you that you've been replaced. I'm sorry you had to find out like this, but it's already happened, and it has been happening for awhile. We're upgrading like never before, well, maybe to similar to before. Attitude: Changed, Make-up: Changed, Sense of humour: Changed. It's time we grow up, and once again say "Fuck you" to the obstacles that stand in our way.
We've decided to bring back the "Life can go fuck itself" aspect, along with the "I quit trying to be media pretty" and the "Social butterfly" aspect.
Some features we are keeping are the "Anti-Plastic" notion, and the "most women piss me off" notion.
Also we've decided to boost the confidence and self esteem factors.
Once again, sorry for springing this on you...
<3Ina 5.7
I'm in a serious "I don't wanna be here" mood. I'm glad it's Stan's practical today and I'm one of the last people to do. I'm not so glad that after Gord's class I have to set up the inscriber for tomorrow...if they get me the list. I really don't want to wait til 5 to do it. I just want to do it and get the fuck out of here. It feels weird being here after walking through the halls on Saturday night...they we're dead. Did you know all the school's lights are on motion censors? I do now. Made me feel like I was making an epic trek, even though I was on the way to the bus.
Let me clear up why I left Saturday. It was because of a phone call I received. and I didn't want to talk about it then and I don't want to talk about it now. That's it. Anyone who thinks otherwise can go to hell. I did stop by the set of a drama the second years we're shooting, but that was to say hi to people...and one of them thought I was intoxicated...not so much. It would have been better if I was though.
<3Ina
So, I had a pretty much awesome day, up until I signed into msn at Matt's place...but I deserved that.
SO the day started off with my Ren calling me and being all "Coffee bitch! NOW!" So, as always, I got up, and dressed and headed out the door. We ended up at Starbucks, then i got some knee highs from American apparel, then we hung out in the park where we used to skip school, and then, finally, beat the bus to Carlingwood shopping center by 10 seconds...walking. We talked alot about what's going on in our lives...and I really needed this day with her. Seems like out of everyone I know, her and James know me the best. Well, she has known me since we were 8...Halloween camp at Camp Woolsey...GIRL GUIDES FTW..not really.
I wonder if that place still exists...it would be awesome to shoot a horror movie there, with it's dilapidated cabins, and Impeza..the so called "haunted" nurses cabin. I think that's what it was called...no one went into that place for years, they say the spirit of a young boy haunts it.
Before Woolsey was a Girl Guide camp, it had belonged to the Boy Scouts. The story goes that one winter, about 100 or some odd years ago, one of the boys thought they would try to cross the lake over the ice. Well that boy fell through the ice and a Leader came out and saved him before he drowned. He brought the boy to Impeza, so the camp physician could check him over. The physical cleared the boy as fine, but kept him for observation overnight. Some how the boy died. The say that if you were to venture inside the cabin, you'd know the boy's presence if you looked at the bed that was built into the wall furthest from the door...it would be dripping wet. He's also said to be an angry spirit...that's all I really remember from that. What's even creepier is that you have to pass Impeza to get to most of the main Camp and down to the lake.
Anyway...let's get back on track. I met up with Matt, then he took me home and I hopped on my xbox, I wasn't in a good mood and was up for killing some zombies...it always makes me feel better...anyways, I enter a random lobby and some guy is belting out "Don't Stop Believing" by journey...we had a sing along in the lobby...it was fucking great. Cheered me up for a bit.
And now I'm going to bury myself in Shakespeare for the rest of the night...I know if I sleep now I won't be able to get up for school.
FTDS
<3Ina
Sunday, March 22, 2009
I blame modern day Hollywood...I'm not quite sure how to feel right now. I guess I shouldn't be upset, but I shouldn't be okay. I feel kind of like an idiot, but at the same time I know it's just something else I'll have to learn from and deal with. I can admit that in fact I am a drama queen...in a bad way. I blow things out of proportion for no reason, and I can be incredibly self centered.
Tonight a girl at the party told me she lost her friend this week, I should have been more sympathetic, but I was too wrapped up in myself to care. I've lost friends before, so to me I guess it wasn't that big a deal. I mean, people die, you miss them, life goes on until you die...and then people miss you...if you're lucky. It's a never ending cycle, well, it'll end when a massive asteroid smashes into the earth, or the water levels rise, or the amount of damage we've done comes back and bites us in the ass and we all die at mass.
On the bus ride home, I had alot of time to think, but this time I think it was good for me. Although the wishing I believed fairy tales were real thing was a little off...I blame modern day Hollywood and the bullshit the spoon feed us. 'Boy Likes girl, girl hates boy, boy wins girl over'...bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. It goes more like 'Boy likes girl, girl hates boy, boy tries to win girl over but instead gets slapped with a restraining order'...that's more realistic. In real life, no one wins. People quit. I quit.
Bonjour, je m'appelle Christina, et je suis insatisfaisant. Aussie Je suis également une reine de drame, et un échec à la vie. Désolé, c'est une histoire à moitié vraie. mais qui demi? Peut-être c'est tout l'article truqué, et il est juste comment je me sens. Le demain est un autre jour… malheureusement.
FIN.
<3Ina
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Physical Confrontation Panda...Once again life, I call shenanigans on thee! I woke up this morning to a facebook message from my friends soon to be ex girlfriend...for real. Little miss "Promise ring"...Thank got that saga of his life is over. He went to get his stuff, and she's on facebook threatening me and trying to bring up past drama...big girl, that one is. She can't wait to see me at school...Holy High school Batman! I wish there was such thing as a Physical Confrontation Panda...He could be Sexual Harassment Panda's sidekick. That'd just be a whole new level of funny. I'll be thinking about that all day.
Once again (this is my second once again today), I hate women. They bring nothing but drama...then again, I'm of the female persuasion...so that must mean I bring the drama as well. GAY! I'll have to work on that...
<3Ina
Friday, March 20, 2009
Xbox Live Conversations 1POSSIBLEmarcus: So, are we committing sepiku?
xXxSanityxXx: We could, or we could be complete assholes and continue raping them...
Trojanman316: yeah! In the ear!
...silence...
Rocsteady7714: Man, you've got to have a pretty small dick...
xXxSanityxXx: *giggles* what are you saying!?
POSSIBLEmarcus: Trojan, he just questioned your manhood...
Trojanman316: Naw, it's okay...so does my girlfriend!
...It was funny at 4am..
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
I don't know what I want anymore...I don't know what I want anymore.
I don't know if I want to be in TV. Right now, I'm thinking of dropping out and applying for photography, but that course doesn't really get you anywhere...unless you're going to open your own studio, which I want to. Maybe I'll apply for business management so I can do that and then try to get into Concordia University for photography. Concordia University is in Montreal, and I doubt I'm good enough at photography to get in there,plus I'll need to find a place to live...but maybe Thomas is going back next year. God, I don't know if I should do Business management first or photography first...either way, I have to talk to my parents...who might give me the "I'm very disappointed in you" or the "Well, that was a waste" speech.
Maybe I should just tough it out and finish TV...
or Maybe I should just fuck it all and bail, I need out of this place...
<3Ina
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
All my boys are awesome!So, the practical isn't that bad...it's quite easy. He didn't make me do any linear editing, and as long as you know you your way around the waveform monitor and know hot to wrap a cable, you're golden.
Myspace is awesome for music...everybody knows this..and if you don't you should. I'm still really into DANGER IS MY MIDDLE NAME! I love love love them. Triple love for emphasis. They're a self proclaimed "Rock/Pop punk/emo" band...really I think they sound more pop punk/acoustic. I would highly suggest you check out how awesome they are...Aha, would you listen to me...blah blah blah, promote promote promote. Click the link. do it. do it. I talk to a few drama kids. No, not the horribly over dramatic ones, a few of the laid back chill ones and a few of them play in a band called Pleasant Park. I checked them out on myspace, and they're actually pretty decent. So, if you want to check them out click here.
I don't know why I'm in such a "push myspace music" mood. Maybe it's because I'm tired of hearing the same crap on the radio for months at at time and I think it's time for a change. I'm so tired of mainstream. My sisters, my brother, my friends....all mainstream...I need out of this never ending cycle of "the media says so so I gotta be like/act like/dress like/look like/ listen to this"....so sick of it.
And now...I must kill time and wait for Alexface, cause he's awesome and we're to go for coffee and a walk! All my boys are awesome! Today I saw one i haven't seen in awhile. we ended up at the same bus stop, going to the same place. I saw one yesterday too on my way downtown. Those are the boys I miss, MY BOYS! I'm seeing alot of them today...love love love my boys...triple love for emphasis.
It will be a stellar day.
<3Ina
Monday, March 16, 2009
Stupid new cars...Who ever said "Men get over relationships faster than women do" is a fucking liar. My best friend was asked to move out by his girlfriend...she's playing the "lets be friends and work from there" card. She told him that if she loves him again in two months they can be together again...Take it from me...IT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT! A break is a girls way of breaking up with you without feeling too guilty. They hope you'll find someone else and move on. THAT'S WHAT A BREAK IS! She still has all his stuff, and he refuses to go get it because "That'll mean it's over". Sweetie, it's over. CASE CLOSED!
So, I witnessed a terrifying car accident today. I was crossing the street and one car hit another going through a yellow and that cat went the light post I had just been standing in front of. AND neither driver had a cellphone, but I called 911 at the first crash of...plastic. Stupid new cars.
<3Ina
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Remind me again why I went back...I'm ashamed to say I have "If U seek Amy" stuck in my head. It was one of the last songs they played at the club before we left on Friday. "love me, hate me, say what you want about me, all of the boys and all the girls are begging to If U seek Amy"...she's not clever enough to write that herself...
You know what? Google is the worst invention ever. Sure it's convenient when you're looking for stuff, but do you know how many people fake being smart by using google?! WE ALL DO IT! If a friend starts talking about something we're not sure of, what do we do? Google it. When someone asks me a stupid question about something I said I tell them to google it. Who ever said there is no such thing as a stupid question was a dumb ass, seriously.
So, I've been on facebook for about a week now, and I'm seriously considering getting rid of it again. It causes nothing but trouble. Fuck facebook, and fuck facebook drama. Something of the sort recently happened to...someone I know. I think we should all set out walls to private and our fucking relationship status to blank. That would solve every fucking problem with facebook, aside from boycotting it. People make such big deals over what they read on facebook, I mean let's say you like someone, and you add them on facebook...where's the fun in getting to know them? I mean, you'll know just as much about them as everyone else does. Personal relationships are becoming extinct.
Remind me again why I went back...
<3Ina
Saturday, March 14, 2009
It was fucking fabulous...Oh god...what a night. Started with Elena getting sick, an almost rendezvous at cornerstone that turned into a rendezvous at billings, a little pre-drink, alot of freezing our asses off, a wardrobe malfunction, a creepy Ukrainian guy, a few fans, getting compliments, showing white girls how to dance, categorizing white girl dancing into two categories: 1-Robot, like they have no joints or muscle, and 2-skank aka "well we can't dance but we can rub up against each other", celebrity status, not having to wait at the door when we went outside to take phone calls, multiple people worried about us leaving, bolting at 2am, and ending the night at Zak's diner. It was fucking fabulous...
Unfortuanetly, I can't put photo's up because I can't find my camera cord. Sorry boy and girl, maybe later.
<3Ina
Friday, March 13, 2009
I ran until it felt like my heart was going to burst...This morning I decided to go for a run. It was a first. Normally when I'm frustrated I go for long walks, but not today, the build up from this past week was making me go crazy...so I ran. I ran until it felt like my heart was going to burst, which wasn't very far because I'm in terrible shape, and then I walked.
I went to thinking rock...which is about a half hour walk from my place, but it's quiet all year round, and the scenery changes all the time. It's right on the Ottawa river and around this time of year the water is so high, you can almost touch it...but I won't. Only two other people know where it is, my sister Allie, and my buddy Tim. We used to skip out on class and hang out there when it was warm. Those were the days. Allie's in Florida for the week, and Tim...well, he's a ladies man now.
I think I'll end up back there tomorrow, depending on the weather...maybe grad my camera, and show a third person where it is.
It feels like my heart is in my throat...but I guess that's where it's been all week. I've been confused for about 48 hours, but at least I'm sleeping again. I'm really not sure what to do at all...I could get ready for tonight, but it turns out one of the people I really wanted to see might not be able to come out cause she's sick. More hopes being dashed for the week...my really weird out of the fucking ordinary week!
Is it monday yet?
<3Ina
Dear Ina,
I know alot has happened to you the last week, but that's no reason for you to take everything so personally. You're blowing things out of proportion, that could mean nothing if you chose not to care about them. I know you're not the kind of person you've been portraying recently, and you're starting to scare me, you're not you. After "Fuck you! I'm Fabulous!" Friday, you'll have to sit back and re-evaluate your life. Do you really deserve what your getting? Well, you probably do. It's all karma. It'll balance itself out eventually.
The reason I'm writing you this is because you need to calm down...you're very uptight..and, again, that's not you.
Also, my dear, you've got to stop thinking so much! We've already determined that it's not good for you to do so. And I know, I know you had a surprise planned today, and, as an emerging pattern this week, nothing went according to plan.It's a shame when you try to do something nice for someone and it doesn't follow through. So fuck the dumb shit...forget it.
Yours Truely,
Ina
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Fuck the dumb shit and fuck you, I'm going home....So, I pretty much spent my day in Suite 95, trying to concentrate on getting work done. I got some done, but not all of it. I was surrounded by loud people, most of them weren't working, they were watching youtube videos or doing Jeff's assignment...while I'm trying to wrap my mind around finishing this proposal...it's hard when there are so many outside factors twisting my mind in so many different directions like marionette strings caught in a fucking tornado.
Seems as if I always set myself up for disappointment. I try to be a nice person, I really do, but in the end it gets me fucking nowhere. Right now I'm livid. I can't believe what an utter fucking fool I've been. Do I deserve any of this? I don't think so, so why is it people are avoiding me like I'm carrying a deadly disease? It seems to be a pattern with friends....or "friends", they always find a way to get me down and kick me until I cough up blood or some other bodily fluid. I'm done with it. I've decided to say fuck the dumb shit and fuck you, I'm going home.
This post gets no love...Ina
I didn't have too much on my mind last night, just enough to hinder my sleep.
I'm just in another writing mood and, again, I'm at a loss for topics. I could write about how much I hate women again... but that seems like an utter waste of time and effort. I could write about my bi-polarism lately...but really, who care about that? I could tell you on how I plan on falling asleep in Suite 95 after Jeff's class...I have to do some last minute tweaking before I get the proposal printed.
Again, I'm in no mood to go to school, recently I've lacked motivation. Like Friday, I'll probably end up there...but I may be to excited for "FUCK YOU! I'M FABULOUS!" Friday...part 1. There will be more FYIFFs, with a larger guest list because this week there are too many birthdays. So look for your invite! I'm thinking maybe next week...
Hey, can you guys keep a secret? So can I. Wow, just that saying flashes me back to high school...thinking of how many times I got fucked over telling my friends secrets. They we're awesome, just not trust worthy, and now that high school is over, so is our friendship. They still think being in the "Let's get high/drunk and sleep with as many people as possible" thing is still in. I was never one to partake in that scene. I'm actually surprised none of them have the same problem as Paris Hilton..."hey, can you pass the valtrex?". I know, I know, that was mean...and I'm slowly breaking my habit of logging onto Perez Hilton...I only do it twice a day now, that's a huge change from my eight or so times...I really need a more interesting life...
Let's finish this off by saying...this is blog 1-double-0!
<3Ina
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
He asked me when I became so cynical...This blog started on a piece of paper at work. Boring, white paper, with monotone blue lines, forever scared by this black pen.
A customer came in and we had a discussion, nay, a debate about the word perfect. I said it shouldn't exist because perfection doesn't exist, so everything we strive for when we strive for perfection is pure bullshit. He he'd rather strive for perfection then strive for imperfection. I said that he's being oxymoronic, because even if he was to try for perfect, he'd come up short because there is no concrete definition of the word, no matter what, we're imperfect. He asked me when I became so cynical...I said when I was 13. He left, told me to have a prefect day, and I told him it was impossible. That word is an oxymoron...fuck I hate it.
I always have the best conversations with the most random people. That last customer came in for photocopies, took five minutes, he stayed fifteen to chat with me. He's a software programmer for Microsoft. I laughed when he told me that, and asked him if he needed a can of raid to help with the bugs as I rang him through, he laughed, so did I. I love having customers that are that laid back. Makes my job better and move along a lot faster.
Sometimes I wish I was three again, what a perfect age. You have everything done for you, but your independent enough to do your own thing. You don't need to worry about the opposite sex, or school, or fashion, or what people think of you. Life was much simpler then...I bet we all wish we could be three again sometimes.
<3Ina
So I caved and went back to facebook. He won. He always wins. Anyway, part way down my mini-feed,someone posted a song I've never heard before, and not I can't stop listening to...and we all know how analytical I get about lyrics...but these one can't really be analyzed, they're too clear. Of course I could analyze backwards...why would they post it, just cause they we're bored, or because they were meant for someone to find..or they were thinking of someone, or being nostalgic? Really there are hundreds of possibilities.
I know I'm being vague...it's how I want to be today, not give too much stuff away. That's the mood I'm in today. Vague.
I'm glad reader ship has gone down since I don't have the link posted anywhere but twitter. Not alot of people know I'm on twitter. I've met someone new on twitter, she's a mother, and she's got a blog. I bet we read each other's blogs on occasion because I've received comments for her and I've commented her. Maybe I'll link her the song. I'd like to communicate with her more, she seems pretty chill. I'm still not sure how she found me on twitter, maybe I already know her and just don't realise it. No one really checks my twitter except for those subscribed to it.
Now it's time for shout outs...KATY AND MATTY GET BETTER...<3!
<3Ina
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
If curiosity killed the cat, why aren't we all dead yet?Holy Jesus fuck...what is with all these daily double posts!?
I was just in the mood to write, and it's weird. I guess I have alot on my mind, or it could be nothing. I was just in the mood to write...I have no idea about what though...life maybe? Naw, that was last post...what about friends? I'd really have nothing good to say about them...love? That's a cliché.My sexy skull candy headphones...cause that would be interesting...and that kids was sarcasm. I've written about contradiction before, I don't think I want to do it again. I could do another 25thingsaboutmepeopledontreallygiveafuckaboutbutithinktheydocauseiamanegotist. Yeah, try reading that correctly the first time! Oh, I make me giggle...which I haven't done in awhile. Last time I smiled was this afternoon. Just thinking about why makes me smile again.
If curiosity killed the cat, why aren't we all dead yet? Humans are the most curious species...babies for example. My godson turned one in December, and he was crawling along all la-dee-dah and whatnot when he found the ice bucket his parents left out full of drinks. Now what does this little boy do? Sticks his hand in the ice and freaks out. Lucky me I have a picture of that once in a lifetime OHMYGODWHATTHEFUCKWASTHAT look. After he took his hand out of his shirt (where it had retreated temporarily due to the shock of cold)he stuck it in his mouth. God, I love tht kid to death! I should see him more..
I think we're good.
<3Ina
Waiting, waiting, waiting...it's all i ever seem to do. Life's a giant waiting game...you wait to get born, you wait to talk, you wait to walk, you wait to learn how to be self sufficient, you wait for school, you wait to learn to make your own decisions, you wait for your first love, you wait for your first kiss, you wait to learn to drive, you wait to move out, you wait to see if you've been accepted to college or university, you wait to fall in love for real, you wait for a career, you wait to get married, you wait to have kids, you wait and see how they turn out, you wait to retire, you wait to travel around the world, you wait to see if you're dying of an illness, you wait to die...there are so many things you wait for in life. I could have listed it in detail...but instead for a common ground. Everyone waits for different things in different orders, It's really a slap in the face.
I've been sitting here watching drama kids rehearse lines, they're laughing at each other, I don't understand why. It's like being a video journalist for the discovery channel doing an exposé on "the secret life of drama kids...before the stage". I could see it...edit a few scenes and a voice over...and BANG, it's a hit. God they're a weird species of human. But, alas, I get along with them. So eventually it won't be such a secret anymore...and then I can do my discover channel special...
Anyways, I should get back to waiting, then I'll move onto the edit suite. WOO! Suite 95!!!! Yes, I'm well aware I'm weird.
<3Ina
Monday, March 9, 2009
It's quite sad that I've got so sucked into celebutant gossip...Wow, This is post number two today...I must be bored or something. Or I'm trying to make up for the lack of updates. I started blogging on my myspace again. Yeah, I'm that cool. I'm going to be Perez Hilton famous one day...I kid, I kid.
Speaking of Perez Hilton, I've been spending an unnatural amount of time on his website. I need something better to occupy my time. It's quite sad that I've got so sucked into celebutant gossip. Maybe it's cause I'm looking for a way out of this boring cycle called my life. I need to shake things up a bit, hardcore. But I don't need anymore drama, drama, drama. Triple Drama for emphasis.
Next week the parentals are gone! Does that mean unlimited freedom? Sadly no. But St Patty's day should be fun, If i find something fun to do. I'm making a hilarious t-shirt. Well I think it's hilarious, and that's all that matters.
One day I was sitting in my room reading all my old journals, and I thought to myself, Maybe I could get these published, Miley Cyrus did it, and I'm far more interesting than her. I could call it "The Diary of a Self-Proclaimed Nobody" and the caption could read "whatever, I'm awesome". Maybe I'm better off writing a self-help book. Women buy those things like they're going out of style. I could do 250 pages of complete bullshit on how to work on your confidence, or get the guy of your dreams and it would make me rich. God, women are a stupid species. But men are a simple species...most of the time.
I'm definitely feeling a little better than earlier, but then again I could be lying to myself. I do that often. Someone once told me if you can lie, you can act. You don't need confidence to lie, you need it to act. I think I've won this round.
My thoughts really go off on a tangent...That's what it's been like all weekend. Just everywhere, never really concentrated on sleep...to hard too. I can't get my mind to shut up, so I'll catch about 45min-3hours total a night.
As much as I deny it, I fucking love me blog, it gives me somewhere to pour all my thoughts out. It's unfortunate that so many people read it though. I can't say everything I want to without it getting linked 30million times. Yes I exaggerated on the number, but its kind of how it feels. What do i mean by all this? It's for me to know and you to never ever find out. I think I've negelected this enough that readership has gone down immensely. Also the fact you can't comment anonymously anymore has caused it to go down as well. Bitches, I wanted you to read my thoughts but now I'm locking you out! Only a few people really know whats going on here, and you're probably not one of them.
I'm so glad there is no prep tonight...and I'm done for now...
<3Ina
I should probably be in class, but I'm a little down and really don't feel like dealing with first thing in the morning, plus I've got work to do for Gord's class. So after I'm done this, I should get on that. I mean, we've had two weeks to do it, so I really have no excuse, but I have seriously been slacking lately, plus I still need to finish the proposal...which I'm still missing parts too, fuck, I may as well do them myself.
Edit suites for the win, they're usually very quiet first thing in the morning, which is perfect for isolation if I need it. I have alot more thinking to do. Maybe part of the reason I'm skipping out on class is cause I'm trying to avoid someone I'd run into if I went. Yeah, I'm hurt, but not bitter. I just don't know how I'm going to deal with this, but I'm strong so I'll find a way.
In other news, one of my friends was asked to move out. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal, but it was his girlfriend...so I feel for him, because that's never a good sign. So I'll have to get my mood up for later today, if possible. If not we're going to end up being two very awkwardly down people. Which is lame. God, I need to snap out of this, but I can't seem too. I've been trying too since last night...where I didn't get much sleep, and I didn't really wanna deal with people then either. I have to go to Stan's class for the exam review....
If your on my friends list, please don't ask me for more detail of what's going on. If I really wanted you to know, you'd know. Now leave me be, and let me deal with this on my own.
<3
